June 18th 2015
Today I went back to work. Which meant turning that part of myself on. I work as a waiter, so I had to switch myself on to waiter mode.
I usually am not a confident, talkative or sociable person. But when I go to work I have to be a confident, talkative and sociable person. So I pretend to be exactly that.
Being a waiter you have to talk to literally all types of people. All ages. All races. All creeds. All classes. All sizes. Kids, pensioners, men, women, bourgeoisie, proletariat.
At University I struggled to talk to people my own age, my own class, my own height, my own intellect. I was scared of judgement, and ridicule. At work I deal with people not like me at all. And I can do it. It’s easy. I just pretend. How I act around the people I serve at work doesn’t matter, because 45 minutes from when they sit down at my table, I never see them again.
But in my actual life, in my non-work life, I couldn’t talk to a stranger in the street. I’m clearly capable of talking with strangers, I do it every day, all day.
I can’t describe it. It’s almost like acting. I watched an interview with Samuel L. Jackson where he revealed that he, Samuel L. Jackson was born with, and has always struggled with, a stutter. So to get rid of it he just acted as if he was a person that doesn’t have a stutter.
That’s what I do. I just act like a confident, talkative, sociable person when I need to at work.
Until tomorrow, it pays the bills.