Almost

June 20th 2015

Today I almost forgot to blog. I got home at, what is it now? 4am. I got into bed. I closed my eyes and I thought “shit, blog”

It’s weird. This daily blogging is sobering. Ive been out tonight, and I refused to let myself get in an incoherent state because I knew that I had yet to blog. And I have to do this every day. I have to. So because I knew I had to be in a condition to write this when I came home, I restricted myself, I didn’t let myself get *(word for very drunk)* because of this blog. 

And that’s possibly a strange thing. How many 21 year olds watch their alcohol levels because they need to go home and be in a state to write 500ish words on their day. 

I do, at least. 

I spent most of today with a good friend, a friend I’ve never confided in about my dreams/goals/aspirations to be a writer. But today I told him. And it was weird. He didn’t react how I expect people to react when I say that. In my head I think people will be like “what the fuck?” But he just said “fair enough, I had no idea” and then I said that I guess I’d never said anything about it because I was embarrassed. 

And he didn’t know why I was embarrassed.  

And I didn’t know why I was embarrassed.

It’s not embarrassing, it’s just private. When I tell people I’ve written a novel the next question they ask is “what’s it about” which is pretty much the hardest question you could ask me. Because I don’t have the perfect answer that I want yet. 

Fortunately, he didn’t ask me questions. He just took it in his stride and went with it. 

Until tomorrow, I was thankful for that. 

Jacn 

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5 thoughts on “Almost

  1. *(inebriated)*? 😉 Sorry, haven’t looked at the rest of your blog so this may likely be something you’ve answered previously, but: why is it so important to post every single day… can’t you take a break once in a while when it is 4 am and you wish to be *(intoxicated)*? *(plastered)*? *(Pissed, sloshed, three sheets to the wind)*? 😉

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      1. Ah, ok… rising to the challenge I see 🙂 Good for you. …it’s weird for me too in the sense that people don’t really seem surprised that I write. I tell them about my book and they are surprised that they didn’t know about it, but otherwise – it doesn’t seem to shock them that it would be something I would do… even though I don’t spread my writing around when I’ve ever done it before… except for this blog now of course (started after the book published anyway.)

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