September 6th 2016

Today I was surrounded by cats. I spent the evening at my Aunt’s house because it was my cousin’s birthday. And although I am horribly allergic to cats I couldn’t stop myself from stroking them every time I walked past either of them. Of course I’d then immediately rub my eyes or my nose with fur contaminated hands and my allergy would aggravate even more.

You see, the issue is that I am properly allergic to them, but I just love cats, and I have to stroke any that I see. My Mum says that I only like cats because Alice likes cats, and that’s probably true. My Mum’s allergic to fur so the only pets we had growing up were fish, rats and a bunny rabbit that lived outdoors until it froze to death. So my first real experience with house pets were with Alice’s cats.

The following is a gallery of the important cats in my life. Just for the hell of it.

Tabby, Tilly and Tommy.

So although it makes me cry to do so, I give them all cuddles whenever I can. Not ashamed. It’s a torture worth putting myself through. Especially if the cat cuddles back. That’s the best.

So I kept calling my Aunt’s cat over, and as if I was some kind of cat whisperer, she came to me on my beckon. I’d stroke and fuss her until she got bored of me (never the other way round) and then I’d complain about how itchy my hands and face were.

“Stop touching the cat then,” they said to me.

“Absolutely not,” I said.

Living through the suffering will be something I’d imagine I’d have to get used to once I live with Alice. (in this context, at least) At some point she’s going to want a cat – and I will too – so I’ll have to invest in a batch load of antihistamine. Maybe we can get one of those hairless cats that look like uncooked meat. But where’s the fun in that?

It’s just an exercise in self control, really. I can touch the cats all I want just as long as I don’t touch my face afterwards. But as my eyes start to water and my beard starts to itch, not touching my face becomes a harder task than not touching the cat in the first place.

In a battle between: ‘stroking the cat and suffering because of it’, and ‘suffering because I didn’t get to stroke the cat’ the former is always the preferred choice. I’ve just gotta put up with the sneezes.

Until tomorrow, gesundheit.



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