September 24th 2016

Today I spent my morning shopping for cushions – being 23 is wild, let me tell you. We had to find cushions that match our colour scheme, a dark grey, and so in the last few days I’ve learnt more about cushions than I ever thought I would. We pictured in our head that for the sofa in our new house we’ll have two matching dark grey and fluffy cushions either side of a central ‘feature cushion’. I now know what the phrase ‘feature cushion’ means. Apparently the middle cushion should match the other two on the back, but be a different but complementary colour on the front, preferably with a nice pattern.

So, I walked down an aisle and picked up three cushions that fitted these requirements. And by God, I got it right.


This was my first creative input into the decoration of our new house. The cushions. I’ve let Alice run riot with most of it, reserving my opinion only for the expensive things, but there I was, suggesting the cushion combination, and she was happy with it. What has my life become? I said immediately afterwards that I needed to go and watch football and have a beer or something to feel manly again.

But it only got worse.

Shortly afterwards we were in an aisle looking for those jars you keep in the kitchen for Tea, Coffee, and Sugar. We were originally looking for a cream colour because our other kitchen appliances are cream. I even had a dream the other night that we bought some of these jars, took them home and realised they were a slightly different colour to the kettle, so had to take them back.

Stood in the aisle, these were the words that actually came out of my mouth:

“I feel like we’ve got too much cream in the kitchen, the cupboard doors are cream and so are the appliances. Maybe we should get a colour like rose gold or something to accentuate it a little bit.”

Alice looked at me in shock. Rose gold is her favourite colour. She was willing to spend £35 on rose gold cutlery. If we weren’t stood with her parents I reckon she’d’ve kissed me on the spot.

Twenty three years old. Suggesting coffee jar colour schemes and cushion compatibility in the homeware section of ASDA. What has happened to me?

I guess I’m just excited. My own home. Our own home.

To increase my testosterone levels I went home and watched three football matches consecutively, and I’m running a half marathon in twelve hours time.

Until tomorrow, wish me luck.



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