December 8th 2016

Today I watched a rugby match live in the flesh for the first time in my life. Actually, that’s incorrect…

Today I watched a full rugby match live in the flesh for the first time in my life. The only time I’ve ever been to a rugby match previously, I left at half time. I’d slept through the majority of the first half – not because the match was boring or anything, but because I was very very drunk. It was the annual Cardiff vs Swansea University Varsity rugby match and I did NOT last very long.

Anyway, today was Gloucester RFC vs La Rochelle with a group of guys from work.


Rugby is categorically not my sport, insofar as I wasn’t sure that I even knew the rules. You see, I was under the perception that ‘team rugby’ as in, Gloucester vs La Rochelle was different to international rugby. I thought that team rugby was what I know to be called ‘rugby league’ and international rugby was ‘rugby union’.

Apparently that isn’t correct.

It made sense to me, at least. ‘league’ as in a league of teams, and ‘union’ as in a country, right?



Although, my incorrect understanding of the difference between rugbys league and union meant that I did actually know the rules. Sort of.

I knew when to cheer, at least.


The thing about rugby is that the most exciting part of it is when they kick it – so they may as well just be footballers. They’re even called ‘Gloucester RFC’ as in Gloucester Rugby Football Club. Rugby fans try so hard to differentiate themselves from the common af football fans, but their sport is literally an offshoot of the one they choose to hate. Rugby started when a group of guys got frustrated that they couldn’t pick up a football. So they made a game where you could kick it and throw it, and the kicking is still the best bit.

All of the sideways shit is boring to me. It’s only exciting when A) as previously mentioned – it gets kicked, B) some big fucker runs into some other big fucker or C) when some quick fucker runs past all of the big fuckers. So, it’s only really fun when the ball is travelling forward, but the issue is that most of the time it’s travelling sideways. Well, backwards – technically.

Until tomorrow, I told you I knew the rules!



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