April 29th 2017
Today I discovered that jetwashing is really, really satisfying. I’m hosting a barbecue at my house tomorrow, so my father-in-law came round with his jetwash (see also: pressure washer) and between us we blitzed my back patio.
We almost failed before we even got started, because it turns out that I don’t have an outside tap, so we had to attach the hosepipe to my kitchen sink. Except, the linking device we had was too small, and the tap was too awkwardly designed, so we ended up with a bit of a leak. Water from the hosepipe was shooting back out from the tap and all over my kitchen, but we managed to fix it with some a little bit of ingenuity and a gravy jug.
Genius (I take no credit for the idea).
Once we had a water supply, we started jetwashing. It’s kind of incredible the transformation before and after you’ve blasted something with a highly pressurised stream of water. It turns out my patio tiles are naturally more yellow than they are black. Who knew?
It is incredibly satisfying in quite a weird way. It kind of feels like you’re colouring in or painting because the colour changes so smoothly and you’re holding this glorified, high-powered paintbrush – except your paint is water.
Of course I doodled my initials into the patio. I once read that ‘hello’ is the most doodled word across the world, it’s scribbled everywhere from school desks to trees to toilet walls. I guess it’s just the first word many people think of, and it’s also quite satisfying to write in cursive because all of the letters link and loop in together.
I would’ve written ‘hello’ but I wasn’t dextrous enough with the hose.
The difference before and after was really quite remarkable. I didn’t even know it was supposed to be that colour. I guess you don’t really notice the colour changing over time because it’s so gradual. The pressure washer removes in a second a colour that has changed over the course of many months. That’s also part of the reason that it’s so satisfying.
Plus, it’s basically a massive, machine-powered water pistol – even the concept of that sounds fun. Although, I wouldn’t recommend you ever aim a pressure washer at anyone and pull the trigger.
Until tomorrow, I think a bullet would do less damage.