June 18th 2017

Today I was in charge of food at the Father’s Day BBQ. That’s a lot of pressure for a guy. All my months of practice led up to this one meal. Fortunately, I had the help of my sisters as sous-chefs. I decided the menu, and chose to do a Greek-inspired BBQ.

Chicken skewers, lamb and mint koftas, balsamic beef burgers, halloumi (more on that later), grilled vegetables, cous cous, tzatziki, Greek salad and pittas. I focused on the meat and the girls sorted the accompaniments. Again… pressure.

The burgers were made with… chilli, garlic, caramelised onions, egg, breadcrumbs and beef mince.

The koftas were made with mint, coriander, cumin, and lamb mince.

The chicken was marinated with cumin, turmeric, ginger, lemon, chilli, and ras el hanout (moroccan, not Greek, but you’ll let me off). 

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Between the three of us we prepared the meat and veg, and then it was solely my job to operate the BBQ.


We were at my Mum and Dad’s house, and they’ve only got a little kettle coal BBQ, and I’m used to my big gas BBQ, so I was worried that my timing would be thrown off or something.

There was six of us, and lots of food. To begin with I didn’t think there was going to be enough food, but that turned out to be wildly incorrect.

My main concern was that it was going to take too long between dishes because I could only do one meat at a time, so I just made sure that there was plenty of halloumi to go around between courses. (more on halloumi later)


The burgers were really good. Sometimes if you put caramelised onions in with the mince, then it makes the patty quite soggy and prone to falling apart when put on the BBQ. The breadcrumbs seemed to fix that problem, though.

The halloumi kept falling through the gaps in the BBQ, and that was really annoying. (more on halloumi later)

The koftas went down well, but they were shaped more like lamb balls than koftas. It was just easier getting them on a skewer as balls.


And, when everyone was already stuffed from the beef burgers, lamb koftas, and copious amounts of halloumi (still waiting…) we finished off with chicken pittas.

All the pressure, and I think I nailed it. I think we nailed it.

Dad seemed to have a really good day, and that’s what’s important.

Anyway… halloumi.

Isn’t halloumi just the most fantastic thing in the entire world? Before today I’d never had it before and now I’m considering going on a diet where the only thing I eat for the rest of my life is barbecued halloumi. Seriously. It’s like meat, but it’s cheese(!!!!), and it’s possibly just the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced.

If I do say so myself.

I now cannot believe that I’ve spent 23 years on this fucking planet and not even had the joy of halloumi to help get me through my existence.


Happy Father’s day, Dad.

Until tomorrow, I love you more than halloumi (just).




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