June 20th 2017

Today I had to get my Grandad to fix my exhaust for me because I’m a mechanically incapable human being. My car has been making a funny rattling noise for a couple of weeks, and when my Grandad heard it he diagnosed it to be a problem with my exhaust, and said that I needed a middle exhaust clamp to fix it.

I went round his this evening, and he had me drive onto a ramp, then I ran off to play football whilst my 72 year old Grandad led on the floor under my car to fix my exhaust. I am somewhat ashamed by that, but everyone has their talents, don’t they? I mean, after he’d fixed it I spent half an hour showing him how to send an email.

We’re just from different ages, so we have different skills. He knows how to fix an exhaust, and I know how to send an email.

I went home feeling pretty shitty about, firstly because I was incapable of fixing it myself, and secondly because I had to resort to my 72 year old Grandad having to get down on the floor under my car to fix it for me.


However, when I got home Alice told me that her boot was broken and wasn’t closing properly. My Grandad wasn’t around to fix this one for me, so I had to investigate myself.

I discovered that the two screws that attach the clasp to the car were missing, which made the clasp wobbly, which meant that the hook didn’t connect with it properly and just bounced off. I’m not sure that’s an accurate or technical description of the problem, and I’m sure it didn’t make any sense. Effectively, there were two bolts missing from the screws, which meant it was all loose.

Now, I have a ‘man drawer’ in the house (that is full of Alice’s things) but I’m not the kind of guy that has spare nuts, bolts and washers lying around the house. From what I could see, the bolts would have fallen straight to the ground beneath the car so were probably on a duel carriageway somewhere.

That meant I had to find an alternative solution, and that meant getting into the boot.


How I fixed it (and yes – I did fix it) was by getting into the boot and carefully guiding the hook into the clasp (again, not sure those are the right words). 


I had to hold the clasp in place, and prop it up as if it were screwed in, and slam the boot down – from the inside, avoiding my fingers – so that the hook met the clasp. It took a couple of attempts but I did it. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it worked.

And that’s what I’m good at. Problem solving. I had a jigsaw with three mismatched pieces, and I managed to find a way to make them all fit together. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t the right way, but it worked.

Until tomorrow, who needs Grandad? (me)



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