July 2nd 2017

Today was a very on-brand kind of day. I spent the morning drinking coffee London’s Soho whilst wearing a Harry Potter tshirt. Anyone who knows me outside of this domain understands that that’s a pretty good summation of my interests. 1) coffee, 2) quirky hipster places to drink coffee, and 3) Harry Potter.

I’d previously watched a YouTube video called ‘best coffee places in London’ or something, and this place ‘Flat White’ in Soho was way up there. So when we woke up this morning looking for something to do, that was the first thing I thought of.

To get to Flat White you have to walk past the theatre that is currently showing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the westend musical.


I felt like a right nerd in my Harry Potter tshirt outside of the Harry Potter theatre, until we turned a corner and saw a load of people dressed up in robes with wands out. Then I felt slightly less nerdy.

We found Flat White on Berwick Street, unfortunately the road is overcome with roadworks at the moment, but there’s not much you can do about that.


It was one of the best coffees I’ve had, for sure. Naturally, I ordered a flat white in Flat White, and naturally it did not disappoint. I’m kind of obsessed with latte art. My Instagram feed is basically just a load of baristas pouring coffee and making pretty patterns with the milk. The latte art at Flat White was the best I’ve seen in real life.

Even though I’m a bit of a purist I take sugar with my coffee (sacrilege), so I had to find a way to stir the sugar in without disturbing the latte art. That’s actually a lot harder than it sounds.

I had to order another flat white for two reasons. 1) They were that damn good, and 2) I wanted to stay in Flat White as long as I could and I felt I had to order another drink or they’d get mad at me. So I ordered another coffee. I also had a croissant. Croissants are messy, and my friend Aaron shouted at me for dipping my croissant in my coffee, even though that’s a perfectly legitimate thing to do in my opinion. They do it in France!


I did feel slightly like I’d become a caricature of myself. Sitting in Soho, drinking coffee whilst wearing a Harry Potter tshirt.


Eventually, we left Flat White. But we stayed in Soho, and wandered round the shops. I wanted to buy some new shoes, but I was determined to buy them from an independent retailer, and not from one of the massive chain-stores on Oxford Street.

In the end I bought some from one of the massive chain-stores on Oxford Street.

I like the idea of supporing local businesses and that, and I really didn’t want to put any more money into the pocket of Mike Ashley (owner of Sports Direct and all round bad guy) but I also am only human, and get drawn in (see: moth, flame) when I see the big red and white ‘SALE’ sign.

Naturally, the shoes I bought weren’t even in the SALE.

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I wandered back and forth between Schuh, Sports Direct, JD and FootAsylum, trying to decide which pair of shoes I wanted to buy. Again, the indecision was very on-brand. At one point I’d decided I’d buy the top left pair, but they didn’t have my size, so I went for the the top right, and then the bottom left, and in the end I bought the bottom right.

Coffee, Potter, Trainers.

It’s a wonderful life. We even tried to go for a cute little pedalo-boat-ride in Regent’s Park but the queue was too long so we bailed.

Eventually, I had to stop fucking about in the capital, get the tube across London to pick my stuff up from Aaron’s, get the tube back across London to get to Paddington, to get the train back home to the Cotswolds.

It was a very ‘me’ kind of day.

Until tomorrow, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.



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