December 2nd 2017

Today was the annual ‘turning on of the Christmas lights festival’ in my hometown (the actual name is ‘Advent Sparkles festival’ but I think ‘turning on of the Christmas lights festival’ is much more precise.)

We went to it last year and it was a great evening, so we brought my Mum and Dad along this year. Alice and I spent the morning warming up our Christmas muscles by putting the Holiday Decorations up. (I’m not trying to be PC by saying ‘Holiday Decoration’, it just wouldn’t’ve been great sentence structure to say ‘Christmas’ twice in the space of five words) 


We put baubles and lights and reindeer on the tree, and up the banister, and over the fireplace. We put one of those things on the door. You know, one of those things. That’s right… those ones. And we listened to that Mariah Carey song at least twice, so are partly contributing to her yearly £366,000 in royalties for that one song. You know the one.

When my Mum and Dad got here we went and wandered around the Christmas market, but didn’t buy anything that wasn’t coffee. The weird thing about Christmas markets is that you buy things that are more expensive than usual, and they’ve been sat out in the rain all day. It’s an odd business. Cute though.


And then we watched the carol singers sing Christmas songs from the back of a lorry like some sort of haulage nativity. The vicar gave a speech from the back of the lorry, and I laughed when he got his notes out of his inside pocket when he had to quote from the bible. There was a certain poetic irony that he’d remembered all of his speech except the bit from the bible.

Some local celebs showed up on stage and reminded us normal people just how normal we are, and then they counted down to the button-push.




Et cetera.


Illumination! I’ve just realised I didn’t take a photo of the Christmas tree, but just imagine a really big Christmas tree that has lights on it. Okay?

And then they did another countdown for the fireworks.




Et cetera.


The fireworks were… smoky.

I’m almost sure something went wrong, because for most of it we couldn’t see the fireworks exploding behind the clouds of smoke that had begun to appear. If the announcer guy with the microphone has to point out that the fireworks display has finished, then the fireworks display never really started.

We then did a countdown to the applause.




Not really.

Then, we scuttled off for a curry.


I had something called ‘Chicken Bahari’. I’m still on my rotation of ‘try a new dish every time you go to a curry house’. This one didn’t have a sauce, which was weird.

Until tomorrow, holidays are coming.


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