March 21st 2018
Today I had a sobering experience and realised that I’m now old as fuck. I had to stay at home today to wait for a man from British Gas to come round and do a safety check on our boiler. When he got here I did that thing that British people do and said “Do you want a drink or anything?” (I don’t really know why you have to say ‘or anything’, because I’m only offering him a drink. I’m not going to make him a sandwich or anything. See, ‘or anything’ is just another British thing, I guess.)
As I offered him a drink (or anything) I suddenly realised that I’m almost 25. Offering the gas safety engineer a drink (or anything) is what actual grownups do. I know that in the grand scheme of things 25 isn’t that old, but at the same time, to me, it’s really fucking old.
I had another quite sobering experience when I went to actually make him the coffee. I went to get a mug out of the cupboard and realised that none of the mugs in our house are suitable to give to a random gas safety engineer who has come to check your boiler.
All of our mugs have hearts on them, or cats, or flowers, or Hogwarts houses. None of those are acceptable mugs to give to a gas safety engineer. And I couldn’t give him the one with the ‘J’ on it because I didn’t know A) what his name was and B) whether or not it began with a J.
Being an adult is stressful, man. You have to do things like offer gas safety engineers a drink (or anything) and choose between your slightly effeminate mugs.
Until tomorrow, it gets easier, right?