April 15th 2018

Today I bought a new suit. I went shopping for a suit earlier in the week, but Alice told me I wasn’t allowed to buy one without her there to see. I’d reserved a couple of suits that I liked at a place in town, but when we got there, naturally, Alice found a nicer one.


It’s for my cousin’s wedding on Saturday, and Alice is trying to convince me to wear a bow tie. But I really don’t feel like I’m a bow tie kinda guy. The suit has a slightly checked pattern and even that is a bit too adventurous for my usual taste. And it’s blue. Blue is far more adventurous than my usually preferred black, but I’m told you can’t wear black to weddings. Partly because you end up looking like a waiter at the wedding and not a guest.

So, blue. And checked. And… bow tie? I wasn’t sure.


I think I prefer a tie. I don’t even know how to tie a bow tie, so I’d have to get one of those clip-on ones that clowns have. A tie is safer. I just about know how to tie a tie.

I feel like you have to be a certain type of person to be able to pull off a bow tie, and I just don’t think I’m there yet in my life. Also, I’d imagine that if I wore a bow tie it would lead to at least some mostly friendly abuse from Steve, my sister’s boyfriend.

That’s what I mean about not being sure I’m that kind of man yet. If you have the stones to wear one, then you have to either absolutely rock it, or have the stones to take the banter.

Until tomorrow, I think a skinny tie is the safer option.


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