April 15th 2018

Today I began the process of getting an official golf handicap. Actually, ‘official’ might not be the right word, but we’ll call it that.

In case you’re unaware, a golf handicap effectively means how many free shots you get per round. Worse players get more free shots to level out the playing field with better players.

I’ve never had an official one, but whenever I play golf against my cousins we all play off 18 – meaning we get one free shot every hole. That was fine when we were all around about the same standard, but now we’re all beginning to vary in quality, we need to start playing by the prescribed rules a bit more.

To get a golf handicap you need to A) be a full member of a club and B) complete three rounds with another member. You then submit those cards, average the scores out, and there you have a handicap.

Our problem with that is that we’re not full members of the club at which we play, so we can’t get official handicaps. Instead we’re just going to organise it amongst ourselves.

That meant that when we played today, suddenly the scorecard became a bit more important. Usually we’d play match play and say ‘whoever wins the hole wins a point’, but we’d decided that we’d submit today’s scores.

That probably explains why we all played so shit. Maybe it was the pressure of the fact that the score we went around in actually mattered. Maybe because it was unexpectedly sunny. Maybe we’re just not very good.

I’m inclined to go with the last one. There’s probably been some kind of psychological study done wherein they show that you perform worse at golf when the scorecard matters than when it doesn’t. They do study on loads of stuff, so that’s probably true. I something the other day about a study on how easy it is to get sheep drunk on whiskey, so there’s definitely a study for everyone.

Seriously though, I was bad. Really not good.

Until tomorrow, maybe I was drunk on whiskey.


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