June 15th 2018

Today we came home to find our hamster dead in her cage. But then two minutes later she was alive again.

We came home late from dinner and, as we always do, went to see Lola (the hamster) before going up to bed. Usually she’s scuttling around the cage or asleep in her bed, but today she was completely still in the tube of her cage.

Alice went over to see her. “Look Jam,” she said, because that’s what she calls me. “She’s in her tube.” We got closer.

Jam, she’s not moving.” Lola wasn’t moving. Her body filled the tube. It looked like she was stuck.

Jam is she okay?” Lola’s eyes were wide open. Completely black. No pupils.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, Jam. Jammy. Oh no.” Oh no.

“No Jammy. No. Oh no. Lola. Loli. Oh no.” Oh no, Lola.

Alice burst into tears. I got as near to tears as I can physically come. I bent down to try and retrieve Lola from the tube and then, as if nothing happened, Lola moved.

All the crying probably woke her up. She had no idea what was going on, or what she’d just put us through. Although we were happy to see her walking, and breathing, we were confused by it. She was dead. She wasn’t moving. Her eyes were open.

It turns out hamsters can daydream with their eyes open, and that’s probably what she was doing. And that’s why she didn’t respond the first few times we nudged her.

And so, Alice broke down, and I got about as far as I can, and then Lola woke up and pretended like nothing happened.

It was a relief, but a sad realisation of what is inevitably to come.

Until tomorrow, just hopefully not for a while yet.


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