July 19th 2018

Today I failed at being an adult human. There are certain things that adult humans are supposed to be innately capable of doing, but I somehow missed this particular one on “keeping hold of receipts”

I somehow managed to have two receipt-related mishaps in the same day.

Firstly, I’d lost one of the receipts from a work dinner I had in Berlin last week, so my expenses were €20 down. Not the end of the world, but just the first identifier.

Secondly, I phoned up John Lewis (the department store), because the steam wand on my espresso machine is faulty (well that’s definitely the most middle class sentence I’ve ever written), and they put me in touch with the manufacturer. The manufacturer were really helpful, but I don’t think I was. They kept asking me questions that I was really unprepared for: “What is the order number on the receipt or proof of purchase?” “What is the model number of the machine?

I didn’t know the answer to either of those questions because all of the details were at home, and I wasn’t. Thinking about it, I kind of just assumed that — come on, it’s 2018 — all of my purchase information would just be in a database somewhere, and I wouldn’t actually need proof.

Turns out, you need proof. And a receipt.

When I got home, I knew where to find the model number, but not the receipt. It wasn’t in the second third or fourth place I checked, and thus I concluded that it’s lost.

To circle back around: Adult’s don’t lose things.And yet, I had two receipt-mishaps in one day.

Until tomorrow, I’m failing thisvadultthood test.


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