December 5th 2018
Today I have the sinking feeling that I need to start a new project. It’s been a while since I overloaded myself with a side-project that overwhelms my consciousness and free time. I finally self-published my novel to the Kindle store a month ago (though I still haven’t actually shared the link with anyone). Before that, I was working on releasing a digital magazine every month, but that project sort of died a death when my Graphic Designer’s daughter broke up with me.
For a while, I’ve prioritised my mental health, because I realised that adding all of these extra projects to do on the side of a full-time job were not beneficial to my overall wellbeing, and that I was getting more stress than reward from them. And if that’s the case, then what’s the point in doing them at all? So I just eased off, and filled my time with stressless things like sport and video games.
But now I’ve got an itch again. I want to do something. I just don’t know what it is. Sure, there is marketing stuff that I need to do for the book I published, but that’s not going to scratch this itch. Nor, I think, would starting up the magazine again — although I think I’ve burned all of my bridges in that world anyway, which is a shame.
I just need… something. I think I want to master a new talent. I want to learn something new. I just don’t know what. I want to find something that I am unexpectedly really good at. Like, for example, playing the piano. Or juggling. Or writing poetry. I need something into which I can throw myself wholeheartedly, and come out the other side feeling invigorated, encouraged, and motivated.
Any ideas? I’ve got none. Perhaps it would be a good idea to continue this side-hustle hiatus, because even though I’m not doing anything with my free time, I’m at least happy, and in a not-terrible mental state. Which is good.
Yet, there’s an itch. I just want to learn something. To do something. To make something.
Until tomorrow, I just can’t figure out what it is I want to make.