January 10th 2019

Today I spent an evening with the 100% confirmed softest boy in the entire world. His name is Rudy and he’s my friend Laura’s Daschund. Dashund. Dachsund? There’s gotta be a “hund” in there somewhere. One moment… Okay, it’s “Dachshund” as in… “Badger dog”? I’m not really sure why, but that’s what Google says.

Anyway… what was I saying?

Yes, Rudy is the softest boy in the world.


My Mum was (allegedly) allergic to fur when we were growing up, so we were never able to have real pets. Meaning I never got to experience the love that a man can have for a dog. Rudy gives me an inkling of that, though. Dogs are just so affectionate and dependable and wildly entertaining. And incredibly rewarding.

First, he’s so excited to see me because I’m like a new toy, and I give him treats. And having something be that joyful just to see you is bound to make anyone feel good. And then you knacker the thing out by playing fetch, and he gets so tired he curls up in your lap on the sofa and goes to sleep. It’s amazing.

What’s great about having friends with dogs is that I get to experience all the cute and fun parts of dogs, without having to clean up any of the shit.

Until tomorrow, next time I get to take him for a walk.


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