February 3rd 2019
Today I am repentant for my actions last night. I woke up in a strange bed in Bath, with no battery on my phone and a hazy-at-best memory of how I got there. We were on a work reunion night out in Bath, and we missed the last train home. Actually, I’m not really sure that we can class it as missing the last train home, because we didn’t even attempt to make it.
We were in Revs and someone had the idea to check that the trains were still running, and found out that the last one was at 22:45. And it was 22:40 at that point. Two of my friends legged it out of the club and sprinted towards the station (in the snow), and the rest of us kind of accepted our fate and realised we wouldn’t make it if we tried.
That being said, the two guys who did run for it did actually make it on the train. Well, they made it on a train. It turned out to be a train to Bristol, not the Swindon, which is in the exact opposite direction. So they ended up further away than they started and had to get an even more expensive taxi.
We did not want to get a taxi, nor a hotel, so we went to McDonald’s while we figured out what we were going to do. Fortunately, one of my friend’s has a cousin that lives in Bath, and for some reason she agreed to let us stay at her house for the night. She went to a mate’s, left a key under the mat, and gave us an address. I grabbed a pen from a person and wrote the address on my arm so that we would still have it when our phones died. That, as it turned out, was a good bit of foresight, because our phones did die. Inevitably.
When we had secured somewhere to stay we journeyed across the whole of Bath to find a club, safe in the knowledge that we at least had somewhere to sleep. We ended up in a really bad club full of 18-year-olds, so in hindsight we shouldn’t have bothered with the trek.
When I woke up and eventually found a phone charger, I was ashamed to check the photos and videos that had been taken the previous night. Apparently, I put a cocktail into my jacket pocket and snuck it into the next club. Apparently I threw a pack of cards over someone’s head as part of a ‘magic trick’.
And I say ‘apparently’ as if there’s a possibility that none of that happened. But it did happen. And I know that because there is video proof of both of those things happening. Here’s a screenshot. Look how guilty I look.
I am not even going to share the card trick video because I am too ashamed. I don’t know why I did it. I am not the type of person that does that. I feel bad. I asked her to pick a card and then I threw the packet in the air and named a car at random. I didn’t even guess correctly.
Until tomorrow, if her card was actually the Eight of Clubs it might have been worthwhile.