February 5th 2019

Today I got the first concepts of the artwork for my book cover back. For some reason, I felt like crying when I saw them. I commissioned a graphic designer/illustrator friend of mine to create the cover, and she got back to me with her first concepts today. I loved them so much.

I’m not sure how she managed to take exactly what I imagined and turn it into a real-life actually tangible thing, but she nailed it. I was absolutely no help during the briefing stage. I kind of mumbled some stuff about what I kind of sort of wanted it to look like, and she took my mumbles and turned it into art.

She hand painted the lettering in watercolour for my name and the title of the book. I didn’t know that that’s what she was going to do. I thought it would just be a font in a Photoshop file, but she hand-painted it, scanned it into Photoshop, and worked on it from there. It’s so beautiful.

I want to share it but I can’t. Because it’s not finished.

The reason that it makes me feel so giddy is that having a proper cover makes me feel like it’s a proper book. This book is being self-published. I wrote it six years ago, when I was at University and sat on it for years. I semi-tried to publish it traditionally, but after many form rejections — and thus another few years of sitting on it — I decided I’ll just chuck it up on the Amazon store and forget about it.

Better to forget about it when it’s out in the world than forget about it when it’s locked in a folder on my desktop, I guess.

I’ve never really felt like it’s a proper book. I wrote it when I was 19. It’s flawed. It’s full of cliche. It’s probably not great. But it’s a thing that I did, and I should celebrate that. Giving it a proper cover, though… that makes it feel like a proper book. And the cover is so beautiful, and it makes me feel so fucking fancy.

And no matter what I think of what’s inside the book, I can be proud of what’s covering it.

I realise that I’m not marketing the book particularly well, considering that in a few days time when it’s released on the Amazon store I’m going to start unfalteringly and unrelentingly asking every one of you to buy it. But you don’t have to read it, or even enjoy it, you just have to buy it so that I feel vindicated, smug, and most importantly very, very rich. Okay? Thanks.

There are a few more things to do with the cover before it is ready to publish, but I am the closest I have ever been. I need to write a blurb for the back cover which, as evidenced by my clear disdain for my own work, will be difficult to do while making the book sound like something people will actually want to read.

One thing is for sure though… Even if people don’t want to read it, they will definitely want to at least look at it.

Until tomorrow, it’s so fucking pretty.


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