March 20th 2019
Today I sold the first paperback unit of my novel through Amazon, which I suppose officially makes me a self-published author. Woo! That’s cool. That’s really cool. Thank you to the person who ordered it, you know who you are… I’ve been told that two other people I know have also bought it, but it takes a while for my Kindle Direct Publishing reports to update. So tomorrow it may say three, but for now it says one. And one is amazing.
In three to four days time, depending on the swiftness of Amazon’s parcel delivery, there will be multiple copies of a book I wrote sitting on bookshelves in multiple homes. Sure, one of those homes is my home, but that still counts. My name is on the sleeve and everything.
It’s been a long time coming, but now I can finally say it’s done. I’ve done what I set out to do six years ago when I wrote the thing. I’m not gonna lie and say that I am so proud of myself, because honestly I’m not, and I very rarely am. I file this particular ‘achievement’ in a subset of my brain under “That’s A Thing That I Did”, and I move on. I’m not “proud” to have a book out — mainly because even writing that phrase sounded pounce, and self-aggrandising and makes me really uncomfortable — I’m just “proud” to have completed what I started. It was always hanging over me, the fact that this task was unfinished, and now I can have some closure from it.
Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s cool, and I am actually weirdly excited to tell people about it, but I’ll always be apprehensive about it because I am so, so terrified of not being good enough. And that’s how my brain works. And now I’ll move on to the next thing.
Until tomorrow, whatever that might be…
Buy my book “A School of Dolphins” here: