Cucumber

June 7th 2019

Today, even though it’s our last night in Ibiza, we made the collective executive decision not go out for a mad one. Between us, funds are running low, and Hï was €55 entrance fee.

Instead, I saved myself loads of money by spending €40 in a casino. The first €20 lasted me a good few hours. I got into a good strategic rhythm where I won £4 on average every two out of three turns. But 6 losses in a row wiped me out after two hours. At that point, I did what I always do on any visit to a casino and finished my betting by putting another €20 into the machine and betting it all on red.

The number that came in was black. By my logic, it’s either -£40 or completely even. And both of those options I’m fine with. Not going to Hï probably saved me £100+ euros, so I still had the ability to spend at least some.

So I walked out -€40, Aaron walked out -€20, Chris walked out +€31 and Andy walked out +€80. Somehow he always seems to do well at casinos. Between us, we robbed the casino (legitimately) of over £50. I just didn’t much compete to that

After the casino, we headed to a bar and played pool — as tends to happen on Fridays. These two reps set us a challenge to find the answer to the following dirty riddle; (which I’m almost scared to repeat here): “What’s long and hard and has cum in it?”

“Cucumber!” Id figured it out. And for my prescience I won a free shot. Hooray. And then next time they came back we had to buy 4 shots. Because they’re reps and we’re not.

Until tomorrow, I was major proud of my ‘cucumber’ shout though.

Jacn

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