June 11th 2019

Today I was reminded that we’re in England, and in England, it rains. I know I keep going on about it, but a few days ago I was on the beach in Ibiza, and it was thirty degrees and sunny, but because this stupid country just happens to be slightly less equatorial and thus further away from the sun than Ibiza, I get back here and it’s fucking freezing all year round.

The UK is like 1000 miles further away from the equator than Ibiza. The sun is like* 92.6 million miles away from the earth, should an extra 1000 miles** really make twenty degrees of difference??

*(I say ‘like’ as if I didn’t just Google it to find the exact distance)
**(Because of the curvature of the earth it’s actually slightly more than 1000 miles, but you can be sure that I A) don’t have the desire or the intelligence to work it out exactly and B) wouldn’t even know how to phrase the Google search required to find out)

It’s fractional. It shouldn’t be this drastic. I mean, I get the reasons why it’s hotter on Mercury than it is on Venus, but the distance between those planets is far greater than the distance between Britain and Biza.

Okay, what the fuck, I’ve just Googled it and the temperature on Mercury is 427 degrees, and on Venus it’s 462 degrees. Mercury is closer but colder? The universe officially no longer makes sense.

Until tomorrow, yeah, yeah, I know ‘atmospheric differences’ and all that bullshit.


2 thoughts on “Equatorial

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