July 1st 2019

Today, shit, is it July already? I guess so. That’s what the date says, and that is how the linear progression of time works so I guess there’s no reason that it wouldn’t be July already.

July the 1st, as I’m sure you are aware because you know how calendars work, marks the half-way point of the year. We’ve had six months. We’ve got six months left. That is how ‘halfway’ works.

It’s been a weird year, but a good one — all things considered. I’ve been happier with life in the first six months of this year than I was in the last six months of last year, if that’s anything to go by. (It’s not much to go by)

July 1st also means that I’ve had this daily blog going for exactly four and a half years now. Aside from one minor and unexplainable blip, I’ve found it in me to lie down at the end of each day and write about what happened that, here on this blog. You may have noticed that I’ve been struggling to do that recently.

The last couple months’ of blogs are all pretty substandard. I used to get real joy out of the, and excuse me for this, “art of creation” that went into writing one of these blog posts. It gave me an outlet to, and sorry for this, flex and practice my creative writing every single day. It also allowed me to bitch about my feelings and thinkings uninterrupted.

I don’t know if it really helps with either of those things anymore. At this point I’m just writing them because I have to, rather than because I want to. And it’s not particularly creative anymore. It’s just there. And I rush it out before sleep just to get it out of the way.

And I probably censor my thoughts and my feelings more than I once did because of the acute awareness of who could be, and is, reading this. So it’s all a bit mundane and directionless here on this blog at the moment. And I don’t really know how to fix it. I don’t even know if I want to fix it.

Until tomorrow, sorry for the subpar quality.


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