August 1st 2019

Today I paid a man to mow my lawn for me. Well, I made the arrangement, the transaction hasn’t actually happened yet, but will do over the next few days. It was all quite coincidental, actually.

I’ve been talking about getting my lawn mowed for a while now. Since Mum and Dad left to go travelling around Europe, it’s been my responsibility to look after the house and the garden. And I’ve… definitely been here some of the time.

In all honesty, the garden is a bit of a mess. The lawn is has grown to knee high, and there’s weeds everywhere. It’s not great. And I know that I should’ve mowed it, but it’s now got to the length where it can’t even be mowed. It needs to be strimmed and trimmed or something first. And I’m not going to do that either.

And so I was Googling ‘lawn mower services’ when there was a knock at my front door, and believe it or not, it was… a postman dropping off a parcel for the house across the road. They weren’t in so he wanted to leave it with me. Fair enough. I signed for it and then went about my day.

Later on though, I get another knock at the door. I answer it and it’s, unsurprisingly, the guy from across the road who has come to pick up his parcel. The coincidence is in the fact that he’s wearing a polo shirt that quite clearly advertises that he works for a gardening company.

I’m sure by this point you’ve figured out what happened — as complicated as this situation is.

That’s right. The guy from across the road is going to mow my lawn for me. But first, he’s going to strim or trim the lawn, because it’s too long to mow. I think he knows my parents — because they’re all neighbourly and shit — and he said “What’s your mum and dad gonna think if I’ve had to do their lawn for you?” and I said “We just won’t tell them” but my Mum is gonna read this so we’re pretty screwed there aren’t we.

Oh well. At least the garden will be tidy. Er. Tidier.

Until tomorrow, I wonder if he knows a guy that can do my ironing?

Jacn