Mortgage

August 28th 2019

Today I opened a mortgage calculator, typed a few numbers in and then nope NOPE NOPED right the fuck out of there. I was trapped and tricked and fooled into curiosity. It didn’t last very long. I was thinking about and talking about my living plans in the immediate future and all of the adult adults in the room (qualified as such because I am a child adult and they are adult adults) told me to man the fuck up and get a mortgage. Or something to that extent.

And so I got the first half of the first half of a mortgage by starting to type numbers into a mortgage calculator. As soon as I saw “25 year term” I nope NOPE NOPEDDDDDDDDDD the fuck out of there and went to lie down on the floor. And then Em thought she was making it better by saying “You can get a 35 year old mortgage to make the repayments cheaper” but she didn’t understand that it was not the size of the repayments that was making me nope but the length of the repayment period.

That is an incomprehensible, unquantifiable period of time and it freaks me the fuck out and makes me want to lie on the floor for a while.

And yeah. The monthly payments would be a lot higher than I pay now. But yeah, at least the payments would go to paying off my own mortgage rather than someone else’s. But yeah, stop arguing with yourself it’s not happening.

Wow, I sound like a crazy person. See? I am not ready to have a house, so there’s no point even considering it.

Until tomorrow, put away your calculators, Lloyd.

Jacn

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