Topper

September 25th 2019

Today I bought a mattress topper and researched mortgages. That’s rock and roll, baby. That’s what life is like now I’m 26, apparently. I woke up this morning and my back hurt because the mattress in my room at my parents’ house is older than I am (probably), so I committed to buying a mattress topper.

At some point between committing to buying a mattress topper and actually buying a mattress topper I started to look into buying my own house. I completed a mortgage calculator without getting freaked out, found out what my budget could be, and then looked for houses within that budget.

What the fuck have I just typed? Remain calm, James, remain calm.

When I was stood in Argos — the most adult of all the shops — looking for mattress toppers, I genuinely for the briefest moment had the thought “Well if I buy a mattress topper for my double bed, what happens if the bed in my new house is a kingsize?” and then I wanted to kick myself in the face so I stopped that train of thought.

The answer, of course, is that I use the double-sized mattress topper for the bed in the spare room, and buy a new, king-sized one for the master bedroom, duh.

Excuse me one moment, I need to go scream into a pillow.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Anyway. This mattress topper is comfortable, and my back hurts less, so it was money well spent.

Until tomorrow, now I just need to spend a bit more money for a mortgage.

Jacn

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