October 27th 2019

Today I spent the day pretending I have a dog. I went to Cotswold Wildlife Park with a date and her dog and it’s crazy how many people would rather look at the dog on my lead than the lion in the cage. Archie stole the show, bless him. I’ve been to Cotswold Wildlife Park a few times, so what was more fun for me was to watch him watching the animals, and barking at things that could definitely swallow him whole. Though he did particularly like the penguins, and the penguins did particularly like him

What was also fun was people telling me I had a cute dog even though I was just pretending it was mine. I did have to engage in some dog chat when my date went to the toilet and left me and Archie alone. This lady came over and said “oh he’s so adorable, how old is he?” and I said “two” and she said “what colour is he?” and I said “cream” (but really, like use your eyes??) and she said “oh he’s lovely!” and I said “he thinks you’re his Mum because you’re blonde!”

It was really great dog chat. I got to have all of the fun of having a dog without any of the hassle of actually having a dog. I didn’t have to clear up his poop, or wash his paws after he’d been running in the mud, I just got to hold his lead and stroke his fur. It was great!

Until tomorrow, also all the other animals were cute too, I guess.


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