October 30th 2019

Today I spent most of my day ignoring my text messages, and avoiding replying. It seems safer that way. By replying you have to commit one way or the other, and so by not replying you are not committing either way, and it’s just easier that way. It’s like Schrodinger’s reply, or something. If the text message remains unread and unreplied to, then the conversation is both dead and alive at the same time.

It was a long text message for 7:20am, and I was not fully awake enough to reply to it. And then I had to drive to work. And then I had to be at work. And then I had to drive home from work. And then I kind of couldn’t put off replying any longer, but I did so anyway because it was just easier that way, okay.

And when I did reply, it was inadequate and overdue and completely failed to achieve what I was hoping for it to achieve.

Until tomorrow, I’ll try again another time.

Jacn