Adult

March 4th 2020

Today I failed as an adult human in two separate ways (see I can spell separate). First, before I left for work this morning I went to get my lunch out of the fridge and realised that I’d left it on the side by the cooker overnight. I guess technically that means that my adult human fail actually happened last night, but I only discovered it this morning. I was heartbroken, because this was my lunch:

It was leftover teriyaki steak noodles from last night. It tasted amazing last night and I was so looking forward to taking it for lunch, but I ruined it all by forgetting to put it in the fridge. Naturally, I googled “is it bad to eat food that was left out overnight” and all of the results said “yes it is bad to eat food that was left out overnight”

That said, I took it into work anyway in the hope that someone at work would overrule Google. And, great news, they did. My boss gave me permission to eat the food that was left out overnight so it’s his fault if I spend all night throwing up and don’t come into work tomorrow.

The second adult human fuckup of today also happened yesterday, I’m just talking about it today because yesterday I wanted to talk about my steak. I needed a new brake light for my car, so my flatmate told me to meet him at Halfords so he could fit me a new one. He’s a good lad. And he’s literally a helicopter engineer so I trusted him to fix a brake light. And I’m not saying you need to be a helicopter engineer to fix a brake light, but it’s not something I’m ever going to do myself so I was glad for the help.

To clarify, it’s not that I don’t know how to fix a brake light, or couldn’t figure it out, it’s just that no part of me wants to try.

So I met Spence at Halfords and the guy behind the desk saw me coming a mile off. Spence had gone to grab something for his car, and I told the guy behind the desk I was there for a brake light. He asked me if I wanted two because they tend to go at the same time. I found no fault in his logic so agreed to buy two. He then asked if I wanted them fitted and I said “sure okay” even though that was literally the reason Spence came with me.

£5 per bulb and I only needed one.

Until tomorrow, sorry Spence.

Jacn

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