March 31st 2020

Today I cooked pork katsudon. It’s a Japanese dish that involves pork (obviously), rice, and eggs. It wasn’t difficult to make, as such, it was just more involved than something I’d usually cook, and required a wider range of ingredients, including dashi, mirin, and muscvado sugar. Yeah. I had no idea either.

Before all that, though, you make pork katsu:

Bash some pork medallions with the bottom of a heavy frying pan, and then set up your dipping station with a bowl each of panko breadcrumbs, two beaten eggs, and flour. My flour was sauce thickening flour because that’s all they had in the supermarket. I don’t know the diffence between that and plain flour so maybe just use plain flour instead.

Dip the pork in the flour first, then the egg, and then roll it around the breadcrumbs to get each medallion nice and covered. Some might tell you to dip it in the flour and egg twice each before dipping in the breadcrumbs, but I honestly have no idea what difference that would make. You do you boo.

Then fry a fuck load of vegetable oil in a wide frying pan and when it gets to 180 degrees (don’t test it with your finger you dickhead) lay two of your breaded pork medallions into the spitting oil. Cook for 90 seconds on each side, and then leave them to rest while you sort the rest of the shit out.

Cook some rice. I’m not going to tell you how to do that. Figure out your timings so that the rice will be done when the rest of this is done:

  • Fry some diced shallots in a drizzle of oil. Use a new pan, obviously, and be responsible in your disposal of the burning hot oil that you’re tempted to just pour down the sink. If you like, do what I did and text your Mum asking her how to get rid of it. (pour it in an empty milk bottle you were going to throw out anyway)
  • Mix together 150ml of dashi (after you’ve figured out what that is), a teaspoon of mirin (after you’ve figured out what that is), a teaspoon of muscvado sugar (after you’ve… well you get it) and if you like a little bit of gochujang (though I forgot, I’m just assuming it’d work).
  • In a separate jug beat two eggs. This one also doesn’t need much explanation.
  • Add your sliced katsu pork in with the frying shallots to reheat because they’ve probably gone cold while you were googling what dashi is and how you cook rice.
  • Pour most of the dashi mixture over the katsu and shallots, then after a couple minutes add most of the egg too. Remember that I said most and don’t whack it all on. The egg is supposed to kind of cook so don’t get weirded out by it. But also don’t make an omelette. Also don’t bother putting red chillis in at this point like I did. You don’t need them. That’s why I told you to use gochujang.
  • Your rice is done. Congrats.
  • And now we assemble. Put rice in bowl. Pour the rest of that dashi mix and the rest of the egg on the rice. Unless you ignored me when I told you not to use all of it earlier in which case you deserve bad things. Put the meat and stuff in the photo above on top of your rice. Sprinkle on some sesame seeds and diced green onions because you’re going to post a photo of it on instagram and you want maximum #aesthetic.

You can try for absolute maximum aesthetic like I did with the sticky rice moulded into shape below, but it’s not worth it unless you’ve got appropriately shaped bowls and appropriately shaped smaller bowls into which you can mould your rice.

Until tomorrow, don’t forget the sriracha.


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