April 17th 2020

Today, did you know you can get a donner kebab on a pizza? I knew that it existed as a concept, but I’ve never seen it in real life before. Until now.

It got to about 6:30 before I realised that I couldn’t be bohthered to cook the pork I had waiting in the fridge, so I ordered some food to be delivered for only the second time this quarantine — which I think is pretty good going.

I really fancied pizza, so I text my friend Harry, who is somewhat of a connoiseur (I’m not going to bother Googling to see whether I spelt that right) when it comes to takeaways in Cheltenham. He narrowed my choices by asking what food I wanted. I said pizza. He asked if I wanted fancy or filling, and I said fancy. And so he suggested Napoli Pizza, or something equally predictable.

I ordered the Mediterranean Pizza, and it said it came with chicken, chillis and onions. And, to be fair, it did. But the chikcen was chicken donner meat, the chillis were jalapenos, and the onions were, well, the onions were onions.

It was basically a donner kebab in pizza form. It even came with a load of garlic mayo.

Harry, if that was the fancy option, I’d hate to imagine wha that the other one would’ve been like.

Until tomorrow, the food was good, mind, just absolutely filthy.


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