Jip

June 17th 2020

Today I went to the osteopath to try and sort the jip my shoulder has been giving me for the last year. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t have a clue what ‘giving me jip’ means.

The osteopath said that there is torsion in my shoulder, and it was probably triggered by ‘some heavy lifting, or gardening’. She’d clearly misread me. Because I’ve had the pain for so long, and because I’ve just ignored it for so long, it’ll take a while to feel better, she said, in the hope that I continue to give her £55 for a half hour session.

I kid, because I think it’s helped. It’s done something, at least, because now rather than it hurting a lot during random movements, I’m just, like, aware of it all the time. Like before a pain would just come out of nowhere, but now it just feels odd constantly. It’s different, but I’m not sure if it’s better.

She was doing all kinda of crazy exercises with my arm. At one point she was led on top of me with only a rolled up towel (and all of our clothes) between us. She was using her body weight to, I guess, roll my back. It hurt a lot, and before you make it weird, it was probably the least turned on I’ve been in my whole life. Though at that point, with the weight of her body literally on top of me, I did find it quite amusing that, because of Covid, the first half of the consultation took place at a socially repsonsible distance.

I’d really like my shoulder to not hurt anymore. It’s getting anoying. But I’m glad she didn’t assign me any exercises to do as homework. Although I guess that means if I want it to improve I have to keep shelling out for these sessions. It pains me, pun intended, to part with that kind of cash, but it’s probably a more worthwhile use of my money than most things I spend it on. And I’m actually investing in myself, and my health, which is something I rarely do.

Until tomorrow, so now my shoulder hurts and so does my wallet.

Jacn

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