Mugshot

September 13th 2020

Today I was embarassed of the state of my weekly shop. I was hoping that the self-checkout was open because I didn’t want the lady on the till in Lidl to judge me.

Why was I worried? Because I had 4 Pot Noodles and 4 Mugshot pastas.

You see, we’re back in the office, but we’re not allowed to use the microwave. I basically have to have a hot meal for lunch. I can’t just have a sandwich. I can’t just snack on flapjacks and fruit. I usually have a dinner-sized leftover portion of whatever dinner I cooked the night before.

Without a microwave, that option is taken away from me. Also I’m not really cooking much anyway.

And so, without a microwave, my only option for hot food is rehydration via kettle. How tragic is that?

And so, Pot Noodles and Mugshot pastas.

Sure, I could walk into town and get something to eat, but that inevitably ends in me spending a tenner, every day, somehow. The Pot Noodle was 75p. The mugshot was 37p. I don’t know if the two of those will fill me up, but I’ll give it a go.

I kinda feel like taking away the microwave is a violation of employment law slash my rights as a human, but when I expressed that to the person at work whose job it is to make those decisions, he informed me that all he’s got to do is provide a toilet and running water. Everything else is a luxury.

Hmm, who knew.

I really want to be back at work. But I really want to be back at work properly. Not for this weird, transitionary, “you can’t use the showers or the microwave or the coffee machine” phase.

Until tomorrow, it’s fine, we’ll be back on full lockdown with a fortnight.

Jacn

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