October 15th 2020

Today I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, but I actually agree with Donald Trump on something.

I think of myself as pretty liberal. On the political spectrum, I’m right in the middle. I don’t lean too far either way — mostly because I don’t often care that much — but on this… on this I agree with Trump.

He’s had a lot of bad opinions over the years. He’s said some awful, hateful, misogynistic, racist things, but about this he is spot on:

TikTok must absolutely be banned without delay.

And the reason for that is not because of the evergrowing presence of the Chinese Communist Party in Western technology companies. Nor is the reason because as a platform TikTok promotes vapid, narcissistic, self-aggrandasing behaviour among teens and young adults.

No, the real reason that TikTok must be permanently banned from all App Stores across all platforms is because of that fucking Fleetwood Mac cover.

There exists a viral TikTok video which, to be fair, is wholesome as fuck, of a man with face tattoos longboarding down an empty highway, sipping juice from a bottle, and lip syncing to a cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams.

Before I saw this video, I’d never heard that song. Now it’s all I hear. I don’t even have TikTok. That video just went so viral that it transcended the platform and spread around the whole social internet. And thus, so did the song. And thus, it began to haunt my Dreams.

I have basically always got a song stuck in my head, and for the last three days it’s been the TikTok cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams. And, as I said the last time I wrote about a song I had stuck in my head, I rarely have more than one line stuck in my head.

This time, on a semi-permanent loop somewhere in the broken record player of my subconscious I have the repeating line “Thunder only happens when it’s raining”. Except, because of the way the girl doing the cover inflects her voice, the ‘thunder’ echoes like, well, thunder, and the ‘raining’ drizzles like, well, rain.

I know that I don’t completely know the next line of the song, because in my head it’s “Players only play when they are playing” but that doesn’t sound like the kind of poetry that would inspire a man with face tattoos to longboard down an empty highway while sipping juice from a bottle to lip sync to.

Until tomorrow, Jim, don’t text me the line again this time.


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