Slump

January 29th 2021 Today I’m in a slump. I can’t stop losing games of chess, and perhaps more annoyingly, I can’t stop playing. Every time I lose I get so annoyed, but jump straight back in – and usually being annoyed makes me more likely to make mistakes which makes me more likely to lose again which makes me more more annoyed which makes me etc. I just feel like I have to try and make up for my loss, but I’m just losing back to back to back and my rating is taking a tanking. I also played some … Continue reading Slump

Control

January 27th 2021 Today I just feel a bit lost. I don’t know what I want, or where I’m going, or what I’m doing. I’m thinking I might sell my car and buy a house just because it’s something to do. I have no control over what’s happening in most of my life at the moment. I can’t change the things that frustrate me about work, or life, or covid. I just have to let those things happen to me. I would be in control of buying a house though. And at least that feels like I’m doing something. That’s … Continue reading Control

Banana

January 26th 2021 Today for the first time in my life I contemplated buying a banana. You may think you’ve never “contemplated” buying a banana either, because if you wanted a banana you’d just get one without giving it too much thought. I, however, have never bought a banana in my life. I’ve never eaten a banana. I’m not even sure I could peel open a banana if you gave me one today. (I’m 27 and I have opposable thumbs, I could probably figure it out but just go with it) The reason I considered it is because I’m on … Continue reading Banana

Tenet

January 25th 2021 Today I watched Christopher Nolan’s Tenet as homework for the movie club I do with some friends as a way of keeping in touch during lockdown. Full disclosure, this was my second attempt at trying to watch it and, annoyingly, that meant I also had to pay for it twice. You can buy it to rent on Amazon, and so I did that on Friday night and watched maybe the first ten minutes of it before realising that it was too thinky for a Friday night after a tough week of work. It was something I was … Continue reading Tenet

Melt

January 24th 2021 Today the universe was determined to stop me going for a run. It covered the world in snow and then hid my flat key. Both of those things were issues that could only be solved by time. Just don’t go at 10am – because then you give the world time to melt, and yourself time to find your house key. And so I ran. And I didn’t slip on the ice and break my neck. And so we can mark that down as a success. Until tomorrow, please melt. Jacn Continue reading Melt

Slippers

January 23rd 2021 Today I’ve developed a weird phobia/aversion to standing on my kitchen floor while wearing socks. That’s a weird sentence to open a blog with. It’s also kind of just a weird sentence in general, but it is a thing that is freaking me out at the moment. My kitchen floor is tiled, and those tiles get very cold. And standing on those cold tiles in just socks sends a shiver through my body. And so I’ve begun to start wearing trainers while I cook. My other weirdly specific phobia is to the sound freezers make when you … Continue reading Slippers

Goji

January 22nd 2021 Today I got a sugar rush from a supposedly healthy flapjack. I made a batch of energy bars with nuts and oats and seeds and fruit and stuff, but god damn they were sweet. I mean, there was also honey and sugar and butter, so maybe they weren’t that healthy. They were tasty though. And probably healthy. But now it’s 1am and I’m still buzzing off the sugar high. Also, they’ve got goji berries in. Until tomorrow, I don’t even know what a goji Berry is. Jacn Continue reading Goji