January 7th 2021

Today the world kept annoying me. At one point I curled up in my bed in the fetal position, with my headphones on and my music loud, because I just wanted to be in a different world for a bit. The news is depressing. Work is depressing. Life is hard. It’s just a really shit time for the planet, innit. Like there’s a load of political and cultural stuff happening, and I don’t feel even slightly qualified to talk about it, but the world is just a flaming dumpster fire, and every time I check my phone, something else catches alight. Sometimes literally.

There’s Brexit. And covid. And Trump. And literal Nazis. And I don’t know whether it’s worse to ignore it or consume it. Because if you consume it, it makes you sad, but if you ignore it, it makes you ignorant. And so the temptation is to internalize, and just think about your own world — forget about that one out there, that one sucks. Except my own little world is a tough one too.

So I needed a cuddle, a duvet, and some Nick Drake.

I want to make a conscious effort to stop consuming media that will upset me, but then I don’t feel like a contributing, educated member of society. It’s just… I don’t know if I care to be part of this society. It’s not the world that’s fucked, it’s people. And there’s fucking loads of them. And I’m not sure if it’s getting worse, or we’re just getting more exposed to it. And then that exposure encourages similarly head-fucked copycats to do more of the same.

And, like, people have always been shit. There’s lots of examples throughout history of people being shit. The world just feels particularly bad right now because it’s this world. It’s our world. It’s our present.

Until tomorrow, back to bed.


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