Vaccine

June 9th 2021

Today I got the first dose of my Covid vaccine and found myself having an inexplicable affinity towards Bill Gates. And then I noticed a blacked out car starting to follow me home. I also hear a mysterious ticking noise* within my subconscious, I’m sure it’s nothing.

*shout out you if you got that reference

Nah but really, my only real side effect was that I did unexpectedly find myself wanting to tell people that I’d had my vaccine. It’s like a weird badge of honour. Except it’s not weird. It’s a good thing to be proud of, and if showing that in any way makes it more comforting to someone who is hesitant, then show it you should.

And like, I don’t really understand the people who take photos of their vaccine card for their Instagram story, but I get the concept. It’s better than being the opposite kind of person and conspiring that get the vaccine is going to turn you into a lizard.

I also don’t understand why the first question people ask you when you tell them you got vaccinated is “which one did you get?”

Three people asked me that today, and I was as confused each time. Like, people don’t gatekeep brands of headache tablets, or judge you for your choice of toothpaste, so it’s just a really bizarre thing to be a thing. I guess it’s indicative of the bizarreness of the last 18 months.

Is it because one of them is a British one? And people want to feel national pride? Or is it because we still don’t like Germans? Again, I don’t get it. But again, if the discourse encourages the country to continue to be vaccinated, then I guess it’s good.

Oh shit I figured it out. The big side effect of the vaccine isn’t the fact it turns you into a Microsoft-loving lizard person, it just makes you into a walking advertisement for vaccines. Fuck. Big Pharma have really thought this one through. They made a vaccine that advertises itself by getting people to boast about getting vaccinated, therefore encouraging more people to get vaccinated, which encourages… etc.

Genius.

Until tomorrow, I got the Pfizer one, in case you were wondering (#ad).

Jacn

2 thoughts on “Vaccine

  1. My younger son is looking forward to getting his first jab on Saturday because it will make him feel at last he has made some contribution to society. I pointed out he had already made a contribution last year being a Tesco driver for 3 months! We all get asked which jab!

    Like

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