November 4th 2021

Today I realised that I’ve been butchered by the demon barber of Southgate Street.

I got my haircut earlier in the week and haven’t left the house in the past few days, so I only realised something had gone wrong when I saw my girlfriend today and she pointed out that I’ve been massacred.

I have a scab on the back of my neck that has got infected from where the barber nipped me with dirty clippers. Now that I know that it’s there, I remember it happening. Right at the start of the cut he used the clippers on the back of my neck and it immediately hurt. I’ve got sensitive skin so I didn’t think anything of it. But then he started staring at the clippers and aggressively brushing them. Then he went to change them for a different set.

I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but it makes sense now.

Plus, annoyingly…

You know when they hold up the little mirror to show you the back of your neck at the end of the cut? Well, I wasnt wearing my glasses so couldn’t see a thing that he was showing me. So I just nodded along and said “yeah nice one mate”, when if I could actually see I would have seen this:

Also look how bad that actual haircut is. I’ve been butchered and massacred and completely screwed over and, of course, I’m not going to do anything about it.

What’s there to do? Ask him for my money back? Probably. I walked out of there having paid £16 for a man to infect me with dirty clippers. That doesn’t seem right, and yet I’m not the person who will mention it to him. I will just passive aggressively write a blog post about it for you lot to read.

Until tomorrow, I’ll probably even go back there because it’s conveniently close to the office.


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