Envy

January 9th 2022

Today was pretty rough, all in all. It started well, in theory, with a nice dog walk around the Forest of Dean with Brad and Jim and Alice and Zoe and Albus the dog, but as often happens recently, being around people made me feel worse.

This is a weird thing to say, and I’m aware of that, but I got upset by the fact that my friends all have their shit together. Its jealousy, probably. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad that they’re all happy, but seeing it just reminds me of everything that’s missing from my life.

They have dogs and mortgages and are most likely with their Forever Person, and I guess it’s just hard not to feel a bit envious of that. Given everything.

And, naturally, that sadness manifests itself in really unhelpful and destructive ways. Which kinda just made everything worse.

Until tomorrow, this is my life.

Jacn

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