June 29th 2022

Today I am struggling with the power of will. Willpower, I could have said, had I not chosen to word that sentence weirdly.

This evening I kept getting distracted as I was trying to read a book. It was a really interesting book, but I’m just fucking addicted to my phone. I’ll pick it up every time it buzzes, and then when I put it on do not disturb, I’ll tap the screen to check it anyway.

It’s so depressing. It’s a behaviour I would like to unlearn. There’s probably a term for it. There usually is. Unconscious tapping.

It’s not just that though. I’ll be on my phone and then get bored of it and move on to the next thing to distract me. And then I’ll walk and get a glass of water. Or go for a piss mostly just for something to do. I just really struggle to concentrate on one thing for more than about 15 seconds.

It’s annoying.

I even just went and checked Instagram midway through writing this blog.

There was nothing there. There never is.

Until tomorrow, lights out.

Jacn