April 30th 2020

Today, shoutout to the six people who text me this morning to see if I’m doing okay. I know the last few blogs have been pretty whiny, but I didn’t mean to make anyone worry that I wasn’t in a good way. I’m actually doing really well. All of the problems that I have are actually very good problems to have, my issue is just that I can’t talk about any of them.

Figuring out what I do about whether or not to make this blog private is a decision that I need to make on my own, and that’s the only thing that is properly causing me stress. I wrote about how if I made it private and had no one to read this blog, then I wouldn’t feel accountable for posting every day and I’d probably end up stopping.

My friend Aaron suggested that I just tell a few people about the private blog so that they can keep me accountable, and it’d stop me having to worry about censoring myself to the masses (masses being the ~300 people that check this blog each month).

I also figured out that on WordPress you can password protect blog posts, which means that instead of making a new private blog or publishing blogs as draft, I could post them as password protected and give the password to Aaron so that he can keep me accountable. Yes, Jim, I’d give you the password too. Don’t get jealous. Mum, you wouldn’t get the password. Sorry.

I guess I’d only actually need to password protect the ones that I deemed particularly sensitive. That means that people who care about reading the mundane ones about what I had for dinner and what I watched on Netflix can still continue to do that, but it alos gives me an opportunity to speak freely on the posts that I password protect.

See, this is why I need this blog. Because going into writing this, I still didn’t really know what my plan was, but within the span of the last 300 words I’ve come up with the solution. I just password protect the sensitive ones. Fucking hell that’s so simple. But I wouldn’t have figured it out without being able to write it down. And that’s what I need to do to figure out all of the other stuff going on in my life.

Again, it’s all good stuff. But I need to work through it. And I need to be able to write about it. And all it needs is a password.

Until tomorrow, if you can guess it then you deserve to read it.


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